The Calm Before The Storm

It’s event week.

Which means things appear chaotic, crazy, messy yet make perfect sense inside my brain. Event week means little sleep, many emails, and plenty of opportunities to exercise grace and patience with myself and others.

I love the adrenaline of event week; the rush of seeing dreams and plans come to fruition while teams of people bust their behinds to make hope loud to a community of people.

This week I am so thankful for….

• People who have put in hours of work and brought expertise to areas I lack in
• A church that believes our actions should be louder than our words
• A community of people who are faithful and generous givers – making events like this possible
• Hundreds of volunteers who have brought in presents, prepped rooms and who will show up Saturday ready to love on our community in a way that brings honor and dignity
• A God who is ever so faithful and patient. Who loves me through my ugly – who gives me grace to try leading again – who created adrenaline and joy – who allows us to be part of families memories

Today is the calm before the storm. It’s the last few hours to check lists twice, cross the t’s and dot the i’s. It’s my least favorite part of events, but today I choose to challenge myself to use these quiet moments to refuel and refocus instead of incessantly check lists and be busy.

Jesus – may your love be loud and felt this weekend.

Hammock

This summer our house made the best purchase – a hammock. It hangs out in the back corner of our backyard and provides an oasis of peace at the end of crazy days.

I love our little hammock. Now that it’s getting cold I don’t get in nearly enough hammock time each week. But it still stands out there as a daily reminder to pause and be peaceful.

Pause.

Process.

Dream.

Repeat.

Where’s your thinking spot?

A Hosea Heart

Currently I’m reading the book of Hosea through She Reads Truth (click there to read online or download the app for your smart device). I’ve read Hosea before and felt so proud of myself for being like Hosea and loving people who were broken and hurt. I found pride in giving people second and third chances, of representing the heart of Jesus that no matter how many time they “turned away” or “walked away” I would still fight for them to come back.

Who did I think I was?

It’s so easy to look at Scripture and type cast myself as the hero or the “good guy” when sometimes I need to face the reality that I, JODY, am the reason a good guy even needs to exist. That I am the heart that wanders, that looks to others sources for strength, encouragement, identity. My heart is the one in need of extravagant grace. I’m the heart on the auction block, tattered, diseased and full of sin. Jesus looks upon my heart daily and says “I love you. I choose you. I want you.”

What a beautiful thing to experience the grace of Jesus. When grace is felt and understood I think there are moments when we can be like Hosea. But I think the best Hoseas are the recovering Gomers.

Abandon

in 2008 I thought I was really cool and I started blogging. I used big words to feel smart. I avoided all capital letters to feel cool. But I wrote with honesty. I wrote weekly, if not daily without a care for comments because I needed a place to process.

Funny, how some things do not change.

I still use big words to feel smart and do crazy things because I think they make me look cool. I still find myself with a daily need to process, to feel, to wonder, to grow.

In 2008 my focus was on what it meant to be reckless. I wanted to be different, for my life to look different from the people around me and to do something great with my life.

In 2014 my focus is on abandon. What does it actually mean to abandon my life, my dreams, my hopes, my judgments, my emotions to live a full life? Is that possible? Does it matter?

I think it does. Because the reality is we are all being watched. The neighbor kids down the street, your family, the person who offices next to you, the 1,257 friends you have on Facebook….you’re being watched and your life represents something or someone.

People will be there to see our successes and failures. Often times it feels as though they celebrate the losses and mourn the wins. But daily I need to remember to abandon – to hold lightly to what I feel and cling tightly to what I know.

So here we go on a new old journey. Messy life. Slow growth. But progress.

“We’ve become what everyone else wants us to be – yet the best gift we could bring the world is to be people God created us to be. As writer Henri Nouwen once said, “One of the tragedies of our life is that we keep forgetting who we are.”” – Freeway Journal

Confession

Confession 1: Responsibility is one of my top gifts – and one of my greatest weaknesses

Confession 2: I don’t practice the difference between pleasing people and respecting people

 

Solution – Selfish September 🙂 I’m going to take this month and work on finding balance in these two areas. Which means I’m going to practice being honest, selfish and putting periods in my life/sentence. This may only last a day 🙂 But we’ll give it a go.

Miracles happen in the Moments

The last month has been littered with moments where my faith is encouraged and increasing. While I’m in my favorite season of ministry so far – it’s the hardest. My faith is stretched, my ability to learn tested, confidence waning – and I LOVE it.

I love living day to day knowing I will fail if Jesus isn’t involved. It makes ordinary and overlooked moments into miracles.

The student who invites a friend from school – that moment is a miracle

The leader who finds freedom from a past that held her heart captive – that moment is a miracle

The middle schooler and high schoolers who get baptized – those moments become miracles.

The student who is upset and heartbroken when seeing churches miss opportunities to reach her peers – miracle.

I think miracles happen when Jesus comes into a situation and does more than we could imagine. It could be turning water into wine, opening blind eyes, growing limbs, bringing people back to life….and it can be as “small” as showing up in the moments where you KNOW He must show up and give you words to say or you’ll ruin it. A miracle can happen in the moment when a student stops living life on their own and starts looking to God for answers and direction. When He intersects with our life – it will always go beyond what we can do on our own.

So live your miracle of a moment today. Do what you can and then let God move.

Take out the trash

A month or so ago we shared a talk with our students about how our words bring life or death. That each word that is spoken to us, about us, from us will be trashed or treasured.

And everyday since then I have had to empty my trash can. Some days more than once. Some days it’s like the words that have to be trashed fill up an old school metal dumpster with no wheels and you have to find some help to get rid of all the junk in there.

There are days it’s fine. And other days, when the weight of those words feel so true – even though they have been trashed – it’s incredibly hard to find the strength to take out the trash.

But trash that is left too long causes problems. It increases stench, your chance for disease and desensitizes you to foul odors and disgust.

So I have had to daily take it out – even if it’s not too bad yet. I have people who ask me often how my trash can is. Words have the power to bring life or death and so I have to 

take.out.the.trash.

Little “g” gods

I’m hours away from heading to camp with 184 middle school and high schoolers. I love camp. I’m excited for this year and so thankful at how different it is than last. God’s grace is evident in my life. Last year I had some major flops at camp per my own lack of strength and desire for control. This year is completely different (I mean I’m blogging so that has to count for something).

The last month has been a crazy whirlwind in my life and heart. Friends with surgery, church transitions, friends with broken heart, personal growth and struggle. It’s just been an tiring month. But in the midst of all the crazy I have been convicted of a truth.

Our response reveals our g/God.

In the last month I have seen it go both ways for me. 

But it’s so true that our response reveals our g/God. When chaos, life and opportunity are before us we will turn to the world for solace and celebration or we will turn to God and His word. 

Here are snippets of real life convos people around me and I have had this month.

Bad news – “I’m going to the gym” – control over our body has become our god

Bad news – “I bought a 6 pack” – substance has become our god

Bad news – “I want a DP” – food has become our god.

Bad news – “we need to fast and pray” – God remains our God

Bad news – “God’s not stupid keep trusting Him” – God remains our God

Good news – “let’s eat to celebrate” – food

Good news – “Thank you God for providing” – God remains our God

Don’t get me wrong I think there is a BIG difference between coping mechanisms and things becoming idols in our life. And I’m all for coping mechanisms.

But a coping mechanism helps us process things as we walk along a path with God. It doesn’t replace or push down God in our process. 

Sometimes a run or a walk is just what you need to clear your mind while you talk with God and ask Him what’s next.

Remember how I said that I have seen this both ways in my life this past month? I remind you of that so you know I’m really writing to myself. 

Exodus 20:3
“You shall have no other gods before me” 

Ouchhhhhhh. Camp always brings with it ample opportunity to practice responding in the correct way. So that is my prayer for myself personally this week that each day when an opportunity comes my way that I will respond by putting my hope and focus in God and not in what my flesh would turn to.

Tale of 2 Hearts – A wedding series

Last night we kicked off wedding season. My sweet friends Tyler and Jessica tied the knot last night at a quaint/beautiful outdoor wedding. It was beautiful! As my table and I sat there sipping our drinks out of mason jars one of them mentioned that I should use the month of June to blog about little wedding lessons – seeing as how this is the first of 4 weddings this month (and there is one in July).

So here is our new Monday night series – Tale of 2 Hearts.

Lesson 1 – DANCE

Dances are receptions go one of 2 ways.

Option 1 – awkward middle school dance

Option 2 – awkward club dance meets “their grandparents are here” dance which equals – everyone flail around and try not to be the booty shaking girl.

There are few things I have found in life that are as embarrassing as dancing at a wedding – but yet it’s still one of my favorite parts. I love watching a bride and groom, newly married stepping onto that floor together, embracing the awkward.

No matter what – I love the dancing reception of a wedding. It’s that moment of carefree – live in the MOMENT, flail your arms about part of the night. It’s that part of the night when you know people are watching – but you choose to care less about them and more about having fun. So you flail your arms about like you can’t count, sway your hips like they need replaced and move your feet like you know what you’re doing —- and if you’re really talented you do all 3 at one time.

And I realized last night while watching the groom “break it down now” with his new bride – that I miss a lot of moments worrying about what others think. I miss my chance to live in the moment, embarrass myself, try something new because I can feel the eyes from the sidelines judging my flailing arms and off-beat hips.

So over the next few crazy, jam-packed, no free day weeks I’m going to be intentionally about living in the moment, not sitting there on the sidelines watching but enjoying and recognizing the moments. So if you see my arms flailing – don’t worry, I haven’t lost it, I’m just learning to experience the moment.

Dance like nobody’s watching

 

 

 

out of town friends!

Dancing friends

He’ll Break Your Heart

To my sweet girls,

He’s going to break your heart. I know you don’t think so because he’s perfect. He’s all you dreamed of ever wanting. He texts you good morning and texts you goodnight. He calls you beautiful. He says he’ll never leave you, never hurt you, never cheat on you, never _________.

But he’ll break your heart 😦

Not because he’s a bad guy (although some of you pick awful boyfriends, seriously get rid of those jokers!).

Not because you’re not good enough or pretty enough – although it will feel like that at first.

He’ll break your heart because your heart isn’t his and yet you throw it at him like he’s your forever.

Some of you will hear this and it will be like you have ear plugs in. I was like that once too.

But here’s what I’ve learned, and what I’ve seen, and what I hear…..

Over the last 2 weeks several of my girls had their hearts broken, a few of you got boyfriends and others of you developed friends with benefits. But through all the conversations I keep hearing

“He said he wouldn’t do this”

“I thought he was a great guy”

“We’re in love”

“I’m not good enough – that’s why he didn’t want me”

“We don’t need a title”

And it makes my heart hurt for you. Because each of you are so lovely, so beautiful, so talented that guys really should have to work their butts off, pass a test and interview with your dad and I before going out with you. I remember what it was like to be in MS and HS and the be the one without a boyfriend.

To be the one that was going to wait for the boy who met “Jody Code” – and at times it sucked – because it meant you went to prom alone; it meant your first flowers were from your brother in law; it meant you hung with your family at night (my siblings and I loved each other though) But you know what- I wouldn’t redo it.

There were so many times when I thought I liked someone. When they made me laugh. They called me beautiful. They bought me Dr. Pepper. They asked me to a dance – and I said no.

It would have been easy to say yes. We would have had fun. It would have lasted for a few months. They would have said they loved me. I would have felt like I had to say it back. Then they would have broken my heart.

I’m not against you guys having boyfriends. I have even had a few 😉 BUT what I am “against” is when we give boys too much of our hearts too soon. And then our hearts get broken. Drama fills our lives. Friends choose slides. They move on. Our hearts break all over again.

Unnecessary pain.

I think part of what it means to be beautiful is knowing how to be yourself on your own. Without a guy telling you how hot you are; without someone texting you each morning. To be beautiful is to know we are lovely in those lonely moments. It’s to believe God has a plan for us when we get left out of group dates. Beautiful is having a standard and a code for our lives that gives us the courage to say no to mediocre relationships and wait for the best relationship.

The Lord is not ignoring the longings and desires of your heart. He know that some of you want to grow up and be moms. He knows most of you want relationships. He knows our desire as girls to be beautiful and to hear that from others. But girls – He is more than enough! He is the protector of our hearts. He is the creator of our bodies. He is the author of our story. He is the one. The one who gets to hold our heart.

There is a time and a place when you’ll fall in love. There is a correct time to talk about getting married. There is a time when you’ll open up in a relationship and be vulnerable. But let it be the right time. Don’t rush. Don’t hurry through a relationship because the world says it should look a certain way, you should be doing certain things, etc. Be patient. Guard your heart. And at the right time, with the right guy – when God is truly at the center – let God guide your relationship. PLEASE don’t rush it. Because when we rush; when we give early access; when we bare all because “we are in love” – our hearts break.

For now – get to know who God is and what He says about you. Discover your beauty.

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.